Deprived children

When Whit and I met almost 17 years ago, there were a few things about me he considered to be, well, unusual. Quirky. One was that I had never actually pumped gas. This was due to my unfounded fear of exploding gas tanks. (This fear likely developed after years of watching my parents smoke cigarettes while filling their cars.)

I had/have still never been to Disney. Not Disney World, not Disney Land, not a Disney Cruise, barely even the Disney store. We never felt the urge when Caroline was younger because she was terrified of costumed characters. Now that she's older, and no one is begging, it's easy to avoid it. I have nothing against Walt and his friends; we just never went as kids and I'm not that enthralled with amusement parks. (I know, I know, I don't know what I'm missing.) Frankly, I'd rather go to Italy.

And also a bit oddly, I have never eaten a Big Mac. Or a Quarter Pounder with Cheese or a Fish Filet sandwich or anything like that. I still don't eat any fast food. I think it's gross. Jack and Caroline have never eaten at McDonalds or any other fast food restaurant, either. That probably makes them weird, and me un-American, but it's not my thing.

So you can tell I have my issues. Another one arises every spring (like, now): I hate the circus. I really do. I soldiered through it a few times when the kids were little, but mainly, now I just turn off the television when I hear the music that signals the circus is coming to town.

First, it smells. Second, I feel sorry for the animals. I don't think elephants enjoy hooking trunks to tails and walking in a circle, and I don't really think they're proud of themselves when they finish a painting. I can see the tiger watching the guy with the whip thinking, "If it was just you and me in a jungle, buddy, I'd tell you what do do with that whip." The horses look manic, the goats look sick and the alpacas just look pissed.

There are a few things I like about it. I like the acrobatics. I like the motorcycles riding aorund in the ball although I find that and tightrope walking a little stressful to watch. My favorite thing about the circus? When the elephants poop and some poor guy has to come running with a shovel. Now THAT'S entertainment.