I say yes.
All the time, whenever someone needs my help.
That's why I've variously found myself a room parent in two classrooms, a Girls on the Run coach, a Sunday school teacher and on said steering committee, a teacher-appreciation-week chair, a Girls Scout cookie mom/meeting hostess/field trip chaperone, a member of the PTA, a classroom copier, a dog sitter, a kid sitter, a guinea pig sitter, and a fish sitter. I’ve been president of the moms club, run Junior League committees (okay, I’m actually not a member any more, but boy, did I say yes a lot when I was) and hosted gigantic family gatherings.
All because someone asked me. Politely.
I say yes. Then I get mad at the people who asked. Doesn’t that make me a horrible person? It’s like a bait and switch. Or my incredibly passive-aggressive personality at work.
Yesterday, a good friend asked a favor. I truly, in my heart of hearts, don’t mind. It’s easy and it will be fun to do. But when I said, “Of course! Don’t be silly!” she said, “Well, you could always say no.”
That stopped me short.
No, actually, I can't say no.
When someone asks me to help them do ANYTHING, I say yes. It’s not because I’m nice, though it starts off like that. I want to help. I really do. I feel good helping. And I am so thankful when people help me. But the problem is that I say yes to so many things that I get stressed and I end up wanting to go tell everyone to screw themselves.
See? It’s not because I’m nice. It’s because I have a disorder.
I don’t even like fish.