Tuesday, April 26, 2011

My name is Julie, and I’m a yes-a-holic.

I say yes.

All the time, whenever someone needs my help.

That's why I've variously found myself a room parent in two classrooms, a Girls on the Run coach, a Sunday school teacher and on said steering committee, a teacher-appreciation-week chair, a Girls Scout cookie mom/meeting hostess/field trip chaperone, a member of the PTA, a classroom copier, a dog sitter, a kid sitter, a guinea pig sitter, and a fish sitter. I’ve been president of the moms club, run Junior League committees (okay, I’m actually not a member any more, but boy, did I say yes a lot when I was) and hosted gigantic family gatherings.

All because someone asked me. Politely.

I say yes. Then I get mad at the people who asked. Doesn’t that make me a horrible person? It’s like a bait and switch. Or my incredibly passive-aggressive personality at work.

Yesterday, a good friend asked a favor. I truly, in my heart of hearts, don’t mind. It’s easy and it will be fun to do. But when I said, “Of course! Don’t be silly!” she said, “Well, you could always say no.”

That stopped me short.

No, actually, I can't say no.

When someone asks me to help them do ANYTHING, I say yes. It’s not because I’m nice, though it starts off like that. I want to help. I really do. I feel good helping. And I am so thankful when people help me. But the problem is that I say yes to so many things that I get stressed and I end up wanting to go tell everyone to screw themselves.

See? It’s not because I’m nice. It’s because I have a disorder.

I don’t even like fish.


  1. Should we just get the car service instead of have you hoof it to and from Baltimore!?!?!? The only saving grace is that you wrote this after I asked you so I think I am not the person you are writing about. Nonetheless, you CAN say NO!!!!! ;)

  2. Hilarious :) Somewhere around 35 I learned to say no... Have not yet learned how NOT to feel guilty when saying it, though! Maybe by the time I am 45 -- LOL...