Monday, May 2, 2011

An addendum

Yikes...apparently that blog post was read by some as snotty, judgmental, and critical of how other people parent.

You missed the point. Maybe I talked too much.

I parent like a 1950's mother. I believe the way I parent my children is best for my children, no one else's. My question was simply whether I am putting my old-fashioned values above my kids' happiness. Literally everyone else seems to do things differently than I do, and I am hardly so arrogant as to think I'm right and they're wrong. Rather, I was positing that perhaps I am wrong, and the ubiquitous "everyone else" is right.

Do I judge bad parenting? Yes. If you abuse your child, I judge you. If you sell your children for crack, I judge you. If you neglect to feed your children, I judge you. If you simply let them stay up to watch “Glee,” it doesn’t occur to me to judge you. If they eat Big Macs, I don’t judge you. Even if your kid is allowed to say “Shut up,” it’s not bad parenting, it’s different parenting. It’s not for me but it might work for you.



  1. I will deny being snotty but certainly not deny being judgmental of other people's parenting. I would even go as far as to say that I am critical. I think that to reflect and discern on a daily basis the type of parent that you are (particularly in comparison to others) is incredibly important. I see the entire role as one of being a captain of a ship. You are at the healm at all times. You need to feel confident to go full speed ahead but be prepared at any time for the icebergs and other objects that may get in your way. You have to have your own personal compass which guides you but be prepared to make adjustments as your course requires. If you are reflecting on this, maybe it means an adjustment or tweaking needs to take place.

  2. It's easy to play Monday morning quarterback and judge someone's parenting. What makes you a stronger parent is not judging but learning what to do and not to do. If we all parented our kids the same, life would be boring and wine playdates would have no one to talk about!