It is absolutely pathetic that the Internet has taken over my entire life. I am not particularly computer literate (remember how Twitter gave me seizures until my friend and I went out to lunch and she gave me a tutorial on it?) and I despise the fact that if my computer breaks, I'm not smart enough to fix it and I'm paralyzed without it.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't connect to the Internet. I talked to my ISP provider for 55 minutes. I learned that Ben has a daughter going into kindergarten and that she's really excited but he's a little nervous. He did not fix my computer.
I called Microsoft. Talked to a very nice man with a very foreign accent for 72 minutes. Learned that he is a computer genius but lacking in social skills. He did not fix my computer.
Jack lost a tooth. I asked him if he thought the Tooth Fairy could fix computers.
I called my ISP back and talked to Chris. I learned he is married and doesn't really like the summer and has a very sweet daughter who is scared of him and doesn't ask for anything. I, on the other hand, did ask him for things, namely a solution to my problem, for 64 minutes. He did not fix my computer.
I took the kids on a bike ride, walked the dog and fed them all lunch.
I called Microsoft back. 100 minutes and 51 seconds later, Stephen in the Philippines had zeroed in on my problem, fixed it, and run about fifty thousand tests to be sure it was fixed.
I think I am in love with Stephen in the Philippines.
Because he fixed my computer.
Meanwhile, Caroline had made plans with THE ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD. I finally unglued my ear from the phone to find out that I was taking her, Jack and a friend to raft night at a neighbor's pool. They knew how much it would cost, they had gathered rafts and changed into bathing suits.
I said no.
So who's the sucker? Me. I am frantically trying to cook dinner for my father (who, remember, lives in my basement) (voluntarily; I feel compelled to add that) before we're due at raft night. And post something on this blog because I feel incomplete until I do. (Which is also pathetic, but I can only acknowledge one pathetic thing about myself a day.)
First person who stepped on a grape, thank you for inventing wine. Whit, thank you for buying me some before you left on your trip. Stephen, you and I have something special. I can just feel it.
Bottoms up, everyone.