You know what sucks?
When you’re 43 years old.
Down a flight of stairs.
That all sucks.
Wearing your pink pajamas to an emergency room in the middle of the night sucks.
Forgetting to wear shoes because you’re in so much pain makes you feel like a homeless person, and that sucks.
(Remembering to put on a bra makes you feel like a put-together, albeit injured, homeless person. That doesn’t suck.)
A couple of concussions suck.
A twisted neck and back suck.
A black eye and bruised face suck.
A thumb with...wait for it...TWO!!!! very unusual and identical fractures that may or may not need surgery sucks.
A hot pink cast does not suck.
A stitched up knee that split open like a melon sucks.
Black and blue and pretty surely broken toes suck.
Putting those toes through an enthusiastic pedicure sucks.
It sucks that the pedicure is the most pressing task post-ER, because your toes are more embarrassing than your pajamas.
Having your kid tell you your body looks like Frankenstein sucks.
Having your husband spout forth an unending stream of battered wife jokes should suck...
...but the fact that laughing makes your face hurt sucks more.
Painkillers that make you feel sick suck.
A very comfortable bed does not suck.